he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
