It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
