Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
