I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
