Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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