are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
