WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
