Redeem this text for a blowjob
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we're making bets on your personal life
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she peed on how many people?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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