SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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