I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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