Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
