My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
