his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
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she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
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Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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