You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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