Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
