with your own penis?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it glows. i had to have it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
