47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
