dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
