ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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