omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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