Dual....:-)
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
