I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
