I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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