I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
