I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
