The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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