He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
