worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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