so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
