i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
