I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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