Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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