he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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