he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
