Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm drive I can fine osifer
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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