The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
