I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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