I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
