Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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