i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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