Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
