dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
