these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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