I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize