yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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