You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
