don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize