Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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