do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We got so high we made milksteak
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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