Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
