I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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