I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
