The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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