As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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