what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
