moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
