I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
