this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
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I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
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You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
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